The River

The River

My heart is aching today

While my hips are strained in love

I have love

In the right places

But entangled

Heart at home hips away

Friends, lovers, friends

My heart aches for more

It is greedy for love

All kinds of love -Longing, friendship, laughter

For long time river love

That ebbs and flows

Finds new meaning

In Every stone current, Every bend, Every deep pool

But I stop.

My path forward is delayed

I am pulled under

Into an eddy of pure passion

Dragged down or lifted up

I can never quiet tell

I don’t like shallow waters

I prefer the mystery of the endless spiral

Mesmerising, fascinating

Whirlpool atop but still deep below

Always moving

I cannot stop here too long

They eventually pull me to the surface

For air, to survive, to continue

But today my heart aches

I will it to change

To find a new current

To cast a new path

To leave the past

To forsake whence I have sprung

My beginnings, my origins

But how do I? I try. I try.

After all I am the river

One long ribbon from mountain to sea

My mind forgets

but my heart always knows

How I carried those first stones, loves, losses

Those stories – Oh if the river could speak

Exquisite fresh joy and opaque murky depths that can follow…………later……..

They are all within me

The heaviest cast aside but still remains

Even if only a faint memory

It hurts often

But I chose it this way

Not wanting to stop

The flow or stagnate

I keep my heart open

It hurts often

But this is what I know

And the river…….is me

Is the river

is you

Is the river

is us

is the river