Swoon

Swoon

Today I am missing you like crazy

You are still here but gone

So lonely for you

I long for you

Was it just that?

A bird flew by yesterday

She swooped and soared next to me

Chasing my car with such intensity

She found me

I was puzzled.

I didn’t know what she wanted but I think it was you

What could she tell me that you cannot?

Her presence was clear

But her message obscured

A blessing or warning. I am not sure?

You wanted me

You pursued me

And I did not say no

But I did too

Want you that is!

I thought I could play distant

I thought I was wise

I thought you would fall open slowly

It’s all so unexpected you say

For me a nice surprise

Maybe she was telling me stay away

That your heart could not be opened

Maybe she was urging me to persist

Or go home

Or that this one is broken

It was not a chance meeting

She, you, I

Maybe that is it

Maybe I, the messenger

From her, from the sky

Oh but it hurts

And I have no rights

I fight it, fight it, fight it

I clutch my womb tight

Cold as ice

I did not want to love you

A few days passed

I told myself I didn’t care

Shaken by my emotions and yours

Despair

What do I do?

I am elsewhere

so are you

Was it that meaningless?

Have I sold my soul for so little?

How many more like me

I feel like accusing you

But that would mean I could ask

And I cannot

I have no rights

I miss you like crazy today

And for now it’s not returned

Fleeting ideas of me and you

If I am not mistaken

You have also yearned

But your heart is so closed, And mine is open

What on earth did I expect? A miracle?

That I was different, that you would change?

Well yes! My heart told me so

But you are deaf to yours

And so you watch this chance to know love fly away………again